work work work

my life is officially over for the next 6 to 12 months. i work full time, apprentice and do art with all my free time. its a good thing. im getting used to working constantly and staying home all the time. camping, road trips, fun in the sun. who needs 'em?!









there is an up side though. im getting better and faster at painting. this is sort of turning into a sort of experiment for me. or a competition against myself. how much art can i do before i go fucking nuts and kill myself? a lot!

















here i have a few teaser pics of the stuff i have been doing lately. i have a bunch of stuff on my plate that i am putting off to do fun stuff now. i will regret that later.

every single moment in my life has lead up to this moment. me writing this blog is a result of the accumulation of my experiences. from the biggest mistake my mother ever made to the biggest mistakes i have ever made. my strengths and my faults. every thing i do in life is my subconscious response to every single tiny insignificant passing moment. it really amazes me some days. i consider myself really lucky to be who i am. my life is really very good. i love my life. i love my family and i love my past. i have nothing to be angry over or sad over. sure, i have my hangups but those things are just part of the bigger picture anyway, and i feel very strongly that if it weren't for those hangups i wouldn't have the strengths in the other areas of my life that i do.

i have spent a long time being uncomfortable with myself and my choices. i have spent plenty of time being angry at my circumstances and my place in the world. and i have felt guilty for being the white male American i am because of things that people did long ago that have nothing to do with me. and i have always been the type to lay down for others to feel more comfortable.

but now i feel ready to be selfish.

being a human being is a really amazing thing. we have made so much from the earth around us. some would argue that humans have screwed things up for the rest of the world. or that we don't live a natural symbiotic life with nature. well that is bullshit. we are just animals after all and we do what is in our nature to do. and our nature is to shoot for the stars at whatever cost. when we are gone from this planet we will have been but a sore throat in the history of the earth. the 70 or 80 years that i will have spent here will add up to nothing when the sun explodes and the earth melts and humanity is no more. so im gonna watch my tv and eat my cheeseburger and draw my pictures and drive my car.

F**K S**T UP

new piece im working on. this is just part of it. i can't show the whole thing cuz that would ruin the surprise.

i feel pretty happy with myself for working so hard all the time and getting so much better at this. i haven't felt this good about my art in my whole life. and i always new that i could do better and i still do.

i read somewhere that talent and skill are not the same thing. you can be born with an aptitude toward something and that's called raw talent. skill is talent that has been developed and hopefully one day perfected.

i have always been talented and i have always known it but i always expected more from myself than i ever could do. people that know me well know how insecure i used to be about my art. i got a lot of attention for it when i was a kid cuz i was from a small town and that sort of thing was uncommon. i went through a period of time after i left home where i didn't do any art for a couple years. it has taken me a long time to get my shit straight and get serious and focused about this stuff and i am pleased as punch that i am in a place where i am comfortable with my work.

this sort of art is very specific in it's appeal. my stuff is based on traditional american and japanese tattoo styles. the traditional american style tattoo aesthetic was born out of a lack of ability on the part of the tattoo artists at the time. it wasn't fine art done by trained artists. it was folk art. and it's funny that i always could draw realistic stuff but it took me a while to get a grasp on this style because it breaks all the rules of realism and enters the realm of design more. it's more about using space well and composition than mimicking reality.

so there you go

total motherf**ker

sometimes you need to drink a beer in the shower.

i have been really busy lately with workin', painting and going to the shop and hangin out till my official apprentice start date on march 15th. so far things are good there. the people are cool and i feel pretty welcome.

in spite of being very busy i am still getting art done on a regular basis. here is a sneak peek at a new thing im workin on.